Our Relationship Advice & Couples Therapy Blogs

Coming Out As Bisexual To Your Partner

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Our sexuality is a huge part of our identity, and while coming out as gay, bisexual, or any other non-straight sexuality may be scary and, in some cases, painful, it can also be liberating and empowering. Establishing our sexuality is an important part of our developmental journey into adulthood, and it helps us gain a sense of authenticity with ourselves, as well as with our partners.

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How Babies Affect a Relationship

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When couples consider expanding their families, what they are really considering is how their relationship and their individual lives may change as a result of bringing a new child into the world. Sometimes that looks like warm hugs over a bundle of joy, sometimes it looks like arguing quietly in the kitchen about whose turn it is to do the dishes. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to sustaining a healthy relationship during pregnancy and those first chaotic years of parenthood, it’s important to go in with a realistic idea of how life is about to change and what you can do to help restore balance to your relationship.

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How to be Giving Toward Your Partner

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As the holidays approach, we often think about the kinds of things our partner likes and what we are planning to give them. Usually, it’s a physical object that we intend to wrap and put under the tree. But we don’t have to buy something for our partner or physically give them anything at all in order to be a giving partner. To give is to provide something, and more often than not, our partner needs us to provide them with more than gifts.

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How to Confront the Issue Rather Than Your Partner

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We often get caught up in our feelings, making it hard for us to regulate ourselves and validate our partners. Internal issues between two partners can be difficult to navigate, especially when we are working to manage our own feelings about the issue or our partner. But the best thing we can do when faced with relationship issues is to take a step back and think about the problem as objectively as possible. It’s okay if something comes out wrong or if you don’t solve the problem in your first approach. Keep the dialogue focused on the issue rather than your partner, and you’ll both come out of it feeling stronger. Here are a few tips on how to start that process.

First and foremost, let emotions settle before you talk about the problem. It's hard to regulate yourself in the heat of an upset. If something has happened that caused emotions to spike, take a breather before addressing it with your partner. It’s tempting to jump into a conversation about the issue as it arises, but you’ll have a more productive conversation if your brain isn’t cluttered with heightened emotions.

Then, explain how the issue makes you feel. This should not entail a long speech nitpicking your partner’s habits or personality traits. Instead, it should be about you and how you feel when certain things happen. Try using phrases like “I feel (blank) when (blank)” rather than “You always make me feel (blank) when you (blank)” The goal is not to attack your partner but rather make them aware of how you feel in certain situations. Drive the dialogue toward what you need in order to feel better about the situation and how you envision the problem being solved.

Finally, turn your focus toward tackling the issue as a team. Now that your partner is aware of the issue and how it makes you feel, you both have the responsibility of working on it together. If the problem is with your partner, chances are good that they don’t want to hurt or upset you. Regulating our own feelings and validating our partner’s allow us to work toward balance in interpersonal relationships. However, if the issue is external, stemming from finances, work, or the like, it falls to both partners to discuss and navigate the issue together, acknowledging openly that a solution requires checks and balances from both sides to ensure a smooth future relationship.


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Roleplaying Tips & Ideas to Try With Your Partner

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While some Halloween gatherings may be limited due to COVID-19, you can still get some extra use out of your costume by wearing them for some fun in the bedroom. Roleplay is a great way to step out of your own skin and into someone else’s, giving both you and your partner newfound appreciation for your romantic and sexual encounters. Even though Halloween is the perfect time to try roleplay with your partner, it’s a fun change of pace you can bring into your sex life at any time.

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Talking About Politics With Your Partner

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With the 2020 Presidential Election just two weeks away, Americans are feeling tense, hopeful, angry, excited, betrayed, and plenty of other justifiable feelings. But what happens when our political alignment brings those feelings into our marriage or relationships?

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